I see that as fair. Do I put him through this ….. Proven by state wide CS. No more childsupport… Eighteen year olds are old. This is all legal. So how if you must check the internet…. Then the ex does not have to pay one cent forwards that child by state law.
This is a woman with two college degrees. The honest ones paying get screwed. The ones that show up in court get screwed. My husbands ex has 4 kids only one is his. She gets child support from two other guys for the other two kids. All four have different daddies. So imma tell you this: Some women just have them to earn them money believe me I know a few who openly admit it! Lol, this response is ridiculous. Use your brain and analyze how the judicial system puts them in an impeccable bind.
How can you possibly raise your children in a loving manner if your faced with homelessness due to the greedy capitalistic society that wants to starve fathers, who would otherwise be successful components to the world and most importantly their children.
I have seen plenty of women that do t even work make more than me because they just live off there kids and use them like paychecks. I just think about it like this…my husband pays a month for his children and she wants more.
His ex is lazy and his kids always look homeless when they visit. Nor does her husband. Deadbeats live off of welfare checks. You must be a blood sucking ex wife. I think my ex husband had to pay too much and insisted it be dropped so he could afford to live.
Sorry, I completely disagree with your statement as it relates to my family: The system meant to protect children and the custodial parent is legalized theft in our household. You understand that housing is an expense? Sorry, you just have no idea what it costs to raise a kid. I mean, it costs more than that for just daycare alone. Just the basic stuff. I agree these judges now feel sorry for the dads and are way to sympathetic to them.
The women by nature in most cases does more for the children. Also children voices are not heard because they are children and that causes alot of damage and leaves judges in the dark. I mean look at the hardworking self rellient generation we have now. Thank god for the woman who knows how to raise em..
Play video games and just be…. I know more gold digging, cheating wives that automatically get custody and C. Most men have spent there entire relationship with said woman, trying to keep their family together and be good Godly husbands and Dads, look at any police deadbeats website….
This, coming from a woman: A lot of women use kids to bleed ex hubbies. I know one who abused her hubby for 20 years. Now gets 16 k per month and all she does is do awful plastic surgery on her face and body. Everytime he sees her in court she looks different. And just landed an awesome passing job. But what I was giving before was half my check. Why keep increasing what I have to pay? Because we all know that a cs payment of a month is not all used for the child.
Nope, you are not allowed to move on and any women who fall in love with you are not allowed to have a child wish and are doomed — doomed for love and doomed for sticking it out while the ex is whining she has a hard time WITH the support not ever thinking how hard it must be not only NOT getting support but paying it out while at the same time having also a family.
There is programs for free daycare for low income parents or for working parents so the daycare cost are not necessarily that high if at all present, food on a kid can be paid by the government including also the WIC programs, clothing -there is a lot of cheap second hand around, formula can be paid by WIC, medical can be covered in full by Medicaid.
So to say a child costs that much is crazy. And still the exes kids think that the non-custodial does nothing for them cause he cant afford to buy them DIRECTLY presents since so much support is taken out.
Child support is made for money hungry women. Which is bull shit that is saying the first kids are the only ones that matters. That just makes women not want to deal with a man who is on child support. And before you money hungry women start complaining about my comments. I have 3 kids get no child support and yes my husband is on child support for two other kids and all his money gets taken.
And if I ever get a divorce I would never expect the next women to take care of my kids. I feel bad for the guys who get screwed because of child support. The system gives everything to women and leaves the man shit out of luck. And of course for the second women who gives the man a chance gets screwed too. And to the women who said this lady married into it you are dead wrong. The ex wife nerds to own up for her own kids just like I do.
She has the prize. Why is that the burden? When my brother got a divorce he had to pay plus maintenence. But when the boys got older and he got custody. And he is happy with no support cause he has the boys. He got the prize. I agree with you, in the sense that what the child support is at the time of marriage breakdown should be, what it is. So now, I take it upon myself to study, further my career and make more money, why should she have her hands on that hard work?
The CS guidelines basically leaves me scratching the bottom of my car for change to feed them, clothe them and entertain them a bit. I mean, I just bought a 9 year old car an upgrade in order to keep them safe on the roads and had to beg my bank to make it into a 4 year loan so I can afford payments on it. Im left with nothing! All because she cheated and I decided to leave the marriage. Seems unfair, especially for the men who love their kids and try and spend as much time with them as possible and Pay their exes without question.
Now, the other side of the coin is the fact that CS is so much because the children need to keep the same lifestyle as they did before the marriage breakdown. Tea, your post is very informative, however if they remain married even with separate accounts it has been documented that the income is there and available.
The first post was good advice. Legally divorce the current wife. As for the legal divorce; man cannot separate what God has put together. When it comes to child support no man out there is going to win.
Not to bad mouth all women, but they own you when you have a child with them. Ive seen many a friend go through the same situation time after time.
Today many of young men are saying no to marriage and is there any wonder why. Marriage is nothing but a legal document that is signed by both parties so legally the man is agreeing to give up control of his life to his wife and kids. There is a huge number of men that are deciding to not get married.
Marriage is for women only, when are men going to take their set of jewels back and own them for himself. Today most all marriages that are made and then when the divorce comes it is filed by their wives. They cannot come out on the bad end of the deal.
There is no such thing as commitment anymore from anyone. Marriage doesnt mean equal commitment. Im warning anyone not to do it. Ive studied psychology for many years and there is a much larger pool of women than in the older days that are just not marriage material anymore. Even today when you look at it who is complaining about men not wanting to get married anymore.
Women can change as fast as a heartbeat. They are always looking for the better deal for themselves, and who has the upper hand. We have nothing to gain by telling you this. Sorry, but no self respecting woman, smart woman who understands that life is life and precautions must be taken in ALL things, will ever want to get involved with you..!
The contract of marriage is a legal form of protection, as you NEVER can predict how things will turn out, and legal system stands behind a woman or any custodial parent she is the one who takes on the most of work load on when it comes to children…. As a woman going through a difficult custody battle and not seeing a dime of child support in the meantime even though I am under-employed for the sole purpose of caring for the children , I am going advise the following.
Let go of your resentment. Make a budget and stick to it. When the child support payments increase, re-do the budget. You husband made a commitment to his first wife and an even bigger commitment when they had children. He is obligated to care for them. Like you said, you knew this when you married him. You might not be able to have everything you want right now, but the most important thing is to make a budget according to how you ARE able to live.
We are just as capable of parenting as yall are. You all know how to manipulate the system. We matched them to his statements that he brought from his bills.
I worked with him and it was an agreement that I was okay with, because it was based on honesty. There are some women that are extremely greedy. She thinks it was a choice, which it was not. They only have one child together. Before we moved, we had his son every other week, they have joint custody, and they make the same amount of money.
When he moved down to Texas, she got angry and went to court to raise his child support, child care, etc even though we offered to send her money for half of the child care, half of the extracurricular activities, and half of anything else she would need for him. A temporary order was put in place back in February until our objections can be heard, which her lawyer keeps getting permission to delay the court hearing, maybe he and the judge are buddies, who knows.
Our court hearing is on Tuesday next week, hopefully we get some relief and no delay. I am not trying to get out of paying child support, by all means, but there is a line between reasonable and unreasonable. If the child is supposed to enjoy the same standard of living as when they were married, then why is she living high on the hog while we are rationing milk to our kids?!!
There are now to separate incomes, houses, expenses, bills…double everything. They look at it as though your love for your child directly relates to the amount child support you pay, which is the furthest from the truth. If I had a dollar everytime I heard a woman say that…lol. I completely agree with crankymomm, I married my husband and his children. I am happy to help support these children through thick and thin.
This essentially means that now their mother has a financial responsibility to help support her children. Raul — I agree that often men seem to be mistreated both from not gaining custody to having to be more finanically responsible.
However, in our home state whoever makes more money is more financially responsible for the care of the children. In our case that means my husband, whether he has custody of the children or not. However here is a concept….. They are his children! He cares more about them than being bitter about money related to taking care of them. Over the past 9 years that means he and I have made many sacrifices, but that is what you do for your children! And if one parent works more than who is watching your children?!
They need constant parenting and a healthy enviornment. If you want you kids and are capable as you indicate in your post, than go file for more custody! Prove to the courts that the children should be in your care because it is in their best interest. But really money should have nothing to do about what is in the best interest of your children. Bottom line — think about who you are marrying and having children with! You both chose a divorce and therefore you are in this situation, stop playing the victim role and just be a great parent who provides emotionally and financially.
Focus most on raising these children the best you can, enjoy the moments while they are here. Soon enough the children will grow up and move on. In a few years you all can take more vacations and have more money. Your statements may apply to some, but definitely not all.
Both parents rarely agree to a divorce. In my case my wife commits adultery, and files for divorce after I find out about it. Have I ever hit her? She files an injunction on me after I leave the state and gives a fake address where I live. So the injunction becomes active on me. Through routine check my employer informs me and I go down to Florida to contest it. I have no contact with them at all. I love my children dearly.
Through joint friends I have been told that in that year, my oldest has raped a 6 yo, 2nd oldest has been arrested 2 times for arsen, and 3rd oldest has been expelled from school for fighting. I am heartbroken and cry every night because I am being denied access to my children. My lawyer could care less just like the last one. My wife is laughing at the state of Florida and I am devastated, going bankrupt and will lose my job because it requires a security clearance.
Financial problems will remove my clearance. If I loose my job, I will not be able to afford to make my payments… I just learned that my oldest could be molesting my 2 younger children… My lawyer?
Where are you and why are you not on my side? I know the feeling I now must live on and maintain the same level of living that once supported a family of three on half as much. I have no doubts how they paid for there two plus week trip to Europe last Summer! But yesallwomen you better check yourmaleprivilege. My husband is going through the same. Ex wife cheated and left for more money, a ton more.
Did I mention that she also lied to the court and had his time reduced, no matter how much proof that he brought in. I am also a mother of three from my first marriage. I have given back his CS at times when he was struggling financially. I choose my kids happiness and well being over money. Unfortunately, this is usually the case.
Men, please stop marrying and having children with women who behave this way. You are marrying actresses who manipulate their way into your bed and you get comfortable because she makes you feel like you are the supporter and she wants a family with a dog and picket fence. Amazingly, she wants a family that is not living together. Men, you are compromising your integrity and the rest of your life with a woman who could be the best thing that has ever happened to you, and all for a woman you thought was someone different.
I feel sorry for your situation, however, the marriage and court systems need to change so that couples can live in harmony, without the comfort of knowing that an ex-wife can sit at home, have sex with whomever she wants, ignore the children and receive payments from the ex.
I believe that in order to receive alimony or child support, a woman must maintain a certain income after the children are 4. I also believe that child support and alimony should not be paid in cash. It should all be tracked on what is actually being used and where. I also believe that the children should maintain a certain grade in school and have a certain acceptable behavior and upbringing for the custodial parent to remain the custodial parent and receive payments.
As a Mother of 3 and a step-mother of 2, I am very familiar with both the struggles of being a single mother as well as the devastation of ridiculous CS.
I ask this question honestly as a mother who financially supported my son solely on my own. My advice to you: Teaching them that every choice has a consequence and a strong work ethic will take you much farther than a handout!
Bitterandcold, I agree with you completely! As someone who has lived on both sides, not receiving a dime in CS for my son to marrying a man who pays out the butt…the world is full of women who are always searching for greener pastures and act as though they have no financial responsibilities for the children that they brought into this world. Child support laws are unrealistic and extremely biased against NCPs. They alternate full weeks during the summer and school breaks and my husband has to pay the full support amount to her even when we have his son for those weeks.
So, we are providing food, clothing and entertainment, etc. My husband and I have 2 children under 8. So, every time he works hard and gets a raise she can go back for more money?
I would never condone him not supporting his son but child support should be based on the standard of living at the time of divorce as no one can say for sure that their career paths would have gone the way that they have had they stayed together.
My husband will tell you for a fact that he would not be where he is professionally if they had stayed together. Who can say what kind of lifestyle the child would have enjoyed? So, basically my husband busts his hump working sometimes 80 hours per week and in the end she benefits. He went to school full-time and worked full-time to get his degree while supporting his family and she benefits.
There is no accountability and a line needs to be drawn. In this state first children come first. What about their lifestyle? My husband can work his tail off but they are not entitled to the same quality of life that their older brother is because he came first and daddy was married before?
How fair is that? What about her accountability and responsibility. There is absolutely no way that she cannot afford to provide for my step-son on less than she gets for CS. Something needs to be done about this. Why is that not taken into account? BTW, the ex-wife went to college about 6 years ago and was bragging about this new, higher paying job she was getting until her lawyer told her that her CS would decrease based on that salary so she actually turned down the job.
Do you think the court punished her for it? I filed for divorce, because my husband never did any kind of paperwork for the family…I always payed the bills and filed the taxes and got cars registered, too, during the marriage. But he was the one who left the house, and he was the one who wanted the divorce. I actively did not want it.
And he does pay both child support and alimony, because we always prioritized his career over mine. There is more than one possible story. You are so right Richard. How could your husband get full custody against a woman? We are in a bad situation now with my husband, because of his ex gf and it stresses me out because he is really depressed and i am afraid of losing him.
I do receive child support for my 3 kids but I was completely reasonable and my ex thanks me almost weekly for being so reasonable. So guess who has to pick up the slack?! I agree with you, but you are much nicer about it than I am. I would continue to say that I have no sympathy for her, that it is what it is and stop bitching because I can guarantee that the mother and the children have it MUCH worse.
That the mother scrapes and probably goes without so her kids should have things, well the husband should do the same!!! She has no clue!! YOU did not sound harsh and I do not think I was that bad either because I could say so, so much more!! Kack — I have to disagree completely.
I seldom saw child support for my two oldest children and had to struggle to make everything work out. We all know how expensive it is to raise a child these days.
I had jobs I definitely would have preferred to avoid, from being a correctional officer in a maximum security prison and a second job at night at a chicken processing plant. I also eventually joined the military so we could have some degree of security, financially and medically we have a special needs child. Right from the start though, I disagreed with what the court said it would be for child support.
Granted, I seldom saw that either, but it was a figure that allowed for me to put them in childcare while I worked as well, and do some of the things the kids enjoying doing. Fast forward to the other side of things. She blows money like it grows on trees and then comes around with sob stories about her utilities going to be cut off.
Meanwhile, we continually tell our children we have to save in order to go to the movies, or the shoes that teens think they must have will have to wait until a birthday or something along those lines. We both work, pay for childcare, and I go to school as well. We are suffering and get no assistance at all. While the ex-wife gets child support from three different men, welfare, foodstamps, free healthcare, and commits IRS fraud by having someone else claim her kids so she can get more money.
Our children matter too and they deserve that support as well. He works so hard to not even be able to afford to help raise our children, provide for them financially, or feed himself while working. You know I am sick and tired of hearing about dads being dead beats,there are more dead beat moms than dads do some research and you with find out.
I just got out of courtand got to pay more money. I have not seen my kids for 11 years bbecause she took them from me and the court did nothing about it. In fact we both work for the same company different shift and she took a pay cut so she could get more money,and today I found out she has her old position back and making more money than me.
Now where do you see that is right dead beat dad my ass. They abuse the system!!! In response to your comments. I agree, any resentment I have only hurts me, but also my relationship with my husband. We have a tight budget. We pay half of an absurd amount without the option to give input, we just pay half of whatever and say thank , can I have another.
In addition we pay half of all dr and dentist which in this case the mother takes her to have a brain scan for a mild headache. This is ridiculous and puts a huge strain on us, on purpose I believe. I was raised by my mom and my dad rarely if ever paid her a cent. So if the woman gets to make the final choice on keeping a baby, she should also realize that babies are expensive, they should not equal a payday. And I speak as a woman, with a child.
I have never taken him to court or talked to a lawyer because it was my choice to have a child, therefore that child is my responsibility on my days with her come what may.
The entitlement among women that are okay seeing someone they once loved scrape the bottom of the barrel to be able to make a rent payment or buy food to support their family is absolutely disgusting.
She will be given, and be entitled to support while she reestablishes her ability to support herself. If you accustomed your wife to a certain lifestyle, you are likely to find divorce will not eliminate your responsibility to provide that lifestyle.
The longer the marriage, the longer she will be allowed to maintain that lifestyle. As for a divorce on paper, there is no such thing, they are either married or divorced, if she wishes to remain married, and not just live with her husband, then separating her assets is the best she can do at this point.
It also might make it easier for her to accept his responsibilities if she remembers that the ex-wife is only getting the spousal support, the child support portion, while the check may be made out to her, is for the children, and must spent on their care.
Marriage is a partnership, and involves legal complications for both parties, it is best to do your financial planning prior to the wedding. I am a big fan of pre-nups, I think a woman is more likely to get a good deal when negotiating with a man who loves her, and she can learn a lot about his character in the negotiating process.
Tea, all great points. Just to clarify, divorce on paper just means to go through the divorce, but still live together, etc. Just a forced separation of assets in the governments eyes. You KNEW what you were getting in to. You made an adult decision to marry someone with previous financial obligations. The court ordered financial obligation has a stop date. Suck it up and plan for that future. There are cash job opportunities out there that can offset this financially lean time in your life.
Get a roommate if you have extra space. Things of that nature can help a person survive. I am a single mother and always worked two jobs. You just have to accept what is and deal with it. Why is it that the state can come up with an arbitrary percentage?
Should we feel the same lack of sympathy for the step dad who picks up the cost for the kids? I would go back to court and get a modification of the order, it seems too high. It would help if he could change ownership of any large assets out of his name so he could bring down his net worth too. I saw your post and just wanted to ask a question.
My husband and I have three children together and he has 1 by himself. He is ordered to pay child support and he does. However, is there a form that allows the FL Dept of Revenue to talk to me regarding his case? I am not a party in the case. Frugalapolis would it be possible to contact me via my email? The reason I ask is that I could use some information regarding Florida Law. Hope to hear from you. Thanks for your time. It can be reduced based on the needs of the parents and the child, reduced because a child is no longer in daycare, etc.
The purpose of child support is to keep the lives of the children as financially equal as possible between the two households. Have your husband get caught up on any back amounts and then ask for the modification again. Every state is required to have one. The formula will define what is and what is not income. Can she work a job at minimum wage but is choosing not to the court can impute an income for her?
If he has to pay court fees every time he goes to court which is odd in itself- usually only the person bringing the motion has to pay , he can ask that the fee be waived. And, prenups can be invalidated if the court sees that the support amounts you agreed upon for the children is unfair.
If the prenup was signed 6 years prior to the dissolution of the marriage, and the circumstances of the parties have changed, the court can easily change the support amount. Prenups are used more for property and financial splitting- not for setting child support amounts. My husband is not in arrears and has never been.
All incomes for both parties are current — we just revisited child support last month. I feel the agony of being married to someone who pays child support. We constantly have the kids and they are taking out He barely make over a month. She just refused to let him have them and her family is loaded and can constantly pay for everything from her house to car to food clothes etc and she works while we struggle to make ends meet.
We buy them clothes and hair cuts and school stuff. While she goes out partying and drinking with her soon to be husband that is on his 4th dwi. Is there nothing he can do?? Ladies stop marrying Daddies! You knew the job was dangerous when you took it! There is a reason they are single! If they did it to the last guy, they will do it to you!
Well first let me say that I am a father of 5 by the same woman. I never cheated always faithful and always home. I love my children with all my heart and would spend the last dime if I had to. With that said I have to explain that Cs is totally unfair and is extremely aggressive towards the father.
Both me and my ex are military she has 21 of service and I have Reason for that is when my son was born in decided to get out and take care of our son and let her stay in. Years later we are divorced in Hawaii. Anyways the military pays additional money if you are married or have kids. You get extra money if you decide to live off base. Who ever is the highest ranking get the most money and the other gets partial.
She out ranks me so she gets more money for rank and time in service plus other entitlments and she lives on base. This means the military keeps the money they normal gives you for rent. The other parent me. Can not live on base because only one of us can claim the kids so I am forced to live of base. Now you may so well you have to pay daycare well her sister lives with her since we had our first born he is now The point is here if my money true is spent for the kids then the kids should not sleep on the floor and wear other people clothes while she and her sister spends the child support money,.
It puts other rights and privileges at risk, like hospital visitation and medical decisions should something happen, inheritance if there is no will, and other things.
Yes, if they were still married they could not afford those expenses. But they are not still married. There are now 4 adults who can help pay for their expenses. His children are benefiting from that situation. It is his children who are benefiting, not his ex-wife. I would suggest trying to build a better relationship with his ex-wife, so that you can decide together what activities you can and cannot afford to provide.
If you can decide together, you can avoid lawyers and court fees. Also, keep in mind that when child support ends, is obligation to his children does not. If you have a rope or walking stick use that to pull them out from a safe distance.
Do not enter the quicksand yourself. Not Helpful 20 Helpful Not Helpful 9 Helpful Yes, if it's the size of a walking stick or larger, you should be able to pry someone out. Not Helpful 17 Helpful Quicksand can occur anywhere in the world, as long as the conditions are right. Not Helpful 1 Helpful You might, but it would be very slow so you would have time to roll away. Not Helpful 14 Helpful Try and swim upwards.
If you still continue to sink, wriggle your body, but make sure you're relaxed and are still able to breathe. Not Helpful 12 Helpful Not Helpful 7 Helpful Keep still and swim up. If it doesn't work wiggle your body up until it goes to your chest and continue with the procedure.
Not Helpful 30 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. How to Get out of Quicksand. Did this video help you? Tips If you hike with someone else in an area where you're likely to encounter quicksand, bring along at least 20 feet 6. If the person on firm ground is not strong enough to pull the victim out, the rope should be tied to a tree or other stationary object so that the victim can pull themselves out.
Relax your head and keep it up as much as you can without becoming tense. Warnings While choosing to hike barefoot might not be able protect you from quicksand, it can expose you to parasites that enter through the skin, such as hookworms and strongholds.
If your buddy wants to pull you out, it might be a bad idea to pull on the suction. Things You'll Need A stout pole. Article Info Featured Article Categories: Featured Articles Outdoor Safety In other languages: Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read , times. Did this article help you?
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Probably one of the most frequently asked questions over the last two decades about family life has been, "Is divorce harmful to children?" Although this may seem like a very important question, I would suggest that it is time to examine a more important question which is-- "what are the factors in divorcing families that contribute to children having difficulties and what are the factors that. Female Supremacist, male Trainer, Femdom clips Producer, Fetish Model and Owner of the House of Sinn.
Dec 14, · How to Get out of Quicksand. You're hiking alone in the wilderness, lost in your thoughts, when suddenly you find yourself trapped in quicksand and sinking fast. Certain muddy death? Not quite. While quicksand isn't nearly as dangerous as. This program can help you prepare a "local catechism" based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church. love, and live our Catholic faith. Know: Learn what we believe (based on the Catechism of the Catholic Church) Discuss/Review Homework 10 min. Lesson 1st .